Not there yet.

Well, taking it really slow.
Maybe not taking it at all.
Maybe ... maybe, yet again, I got carried away.
All excited and happy and everything, but ... nothing happened since.
Next week. Next week, for sure.
I know, it is OK this way.
Everything is just the way it's supposed to be.
Just my fragile heart wishes things to be different.
Wishes kisses and hugs and sweet little nonsenses being whispered in my ear.
I have made a decision.
I have made my call.
Just getting there ... takes time and effort.
And maybe, most likely, as it looks now, he is not in the picture.
And maybe, for sure, I am here on my own. 
And will be on my own for some time.
Just to figure myself out.
I made a promise to myself. 
For once ... for once I need this for myself.
Just not there yet.