Edge.

Have new haircut. 
It's a girls thing. Something goes wrong, you have all these feelings, emotions, ups and downs, and suddenly you have a new haircut and everything is OK, world peace is finally here and unicorns are dashing through the sky. 
Not quite.
I would really love to see unicorns dashing through the sky, really.
Still, what's here is my new haircut. Short. Very short. Blond. Edgy. Totally edgy.
It's just a mask, honestly. 
A mask to hide my vulnerability at the moment. 
Yes, I'm working on my feelings and fears and my emotions, handling the situations and myself.
But still, I need some protection, feeling too fragile right now.
And feeling fragile while coping with stressful work and people is just wrong combination.
Hence the mask.
The hair. The darker lipstick. The high heels. 
The indifferent attitude.
The "I'm quite bored right now" expression on my face.
This gets me through the working day.
Then ... I start to fall apart ... no more energy to keep the mask on.
So I become distracted. Tired. Not sociable. 
I get irritated over little things. Dramatizing. 
Confused. Not quite here/there. 
It may look like I'm in my zen place, but actually I'm in my utter chaos.
Nevertheless, things are looking up.
The sun is back. The cold is gone.
There are certain dreams I'm having, certain signs I'm getting.
Things are looking up to be great again.